Another One For My Sci Fi Romance Challenge

SFR Challenge Book #2

Torn by K.D. King – 1 Star

I was not real impressed with this short story/novella. I felt like I was on a train and the story was like scenery whipping by the windows. You only caught a glimpse of what was going on.

She saw the hero on a planet. She follows him to a cave. She glows. She returns to her homeworld for 30 minutes. Then she goes to a library(?) planet. Then she is captured. She meets her long time enemy, takes a bath, gets a tour, falls in love, has a meal, plans to blow up the ship, makes love to him in a corridor, goes to his world, meets her long lost brother, fights with the hero, learns to hate her father whom she’s always loved, goes to save her mother whom she’s always despised, gets married in a public sex act. All that just whooshed by. I felt like someone snatched a book out of my hands while I was yelling “Wait! I was reading that!”

The book was just too short for the amount of story the author had to tell. The book seriously needed some filling out and some details. Here is an example of the kind of thing I mean.

She sees him on this planet that she’s on for a reason we don’t know. She followed him through the city out into the desert to some caves and snuck in to the caves. Okay so into the desert with no supplies? What did the desert look like? For that matter what did he look like? If he was described, it was so brief that I have no idea what he looked like. I think he was white from the cover illustration and the fact that the author made a big deal out of how he thought her ‘chocolate’ coloring was so pretty. So we know she is black but have no idea of what her facial features look like.

He knew someone was following him. Why didn’t he just stop behind a boulder and wait up and catch her? Why were there no guards or at least a doorman at the entrance to the caves where all these people live? What do the caves look like? Sound like? Dripping water? Dry rustling? Why are these people living in a cave? Then when she finds herself glowing because he is her mate, although she doesn’t know it, she bolts. The hero chases her because he does know the glowing means they’re mates. She escapes through the use of some sort of call button that brings down a space shuttle I think. Tell me just a little about the space ships and other tech stuff. There is little to no description or explanation.

The relationship between the hero and heroine would have benefited from a lot more time/scenes spent on their interaction. Most of their relationship consisted of him showing he was a gentleman by escorting her around his ship then showing her to her room and leaving her alone.

This was almost the best example of telling instead of showing I’ve ever read. The author also almost always used short sentences which added to the overall feeling of brevity.

All that being said. I think the story had potential. With all that was going on, it needed to be a novel not a novella. I liked the glowing when you find your mate. I liked the convoluted plot details. I liked the hidden evil etc. The actual ideas and happenings were interesting but there just needed to be more time to develop the whole story.

If it’s important to you, there were some sex scenes. They were not the best sex scenes I’ve ever read. Kind of included details I really didn’t care to know, like how much she gushed when she came. There were two public sex scenes. In fact the marriage was performed during the act of sex. Well fine, but why? Absolutely no explanation of why that had to be so it was just gratuitous. In fact, all we know about his culture is that she’s heard they have a lot of sex. All we know about her culture is…wait. Nothing.

This book was provided to me free from the publisher.

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